Lessons (that should have been) Learned in Kindergarten

I would have to say, hands down, that one of the most hilarious experiences my husband and I have ever had was during our first visit together to the Big Island of Hawaii.  Following a day swimming at Two Steps, we stopped for lunch at a place called the Coffee Shack located on the Upper Mamalahoa Highway. This restaurant had a view that was AH-MAY-ZING, with a panoramic vista of the Pacific Ocean from about 1,000 feet up.

We were seated by the railing of an outdoor patio area and began enjoying our lunch until these two ladies, both wearing white knee-high socks and the free puka shell necklaces they give out upon entering Hilo Hattie’s, walked up and asked if they could join us at our table. Steve and I looked at each other, a bit bewildered, and were perplexed at how to answer their question.  These ladies seemed a little confused at the whole “wait your turn until the next table becomes available” concept, and we attempted to explain this to them, speaking loudly and slowly as we described.

Following our suggestion to perhaps wait their turn, the ladies insisted that there wasn’t anywhere else to sit, AND, they duly noted, there was room at our table since there were only two of us sitting at the four-seater table.  So without further ado, they sat themselves down next to us and began discussing the menu options amongst themselves.

We couldn’t believe it!  We also began looking for candid cameras around the room, thinking to ourselves, There’s no fucking way this is really happening.

Finally, the waitress had figured out what was going on through her amazing deductive reasoning of seeing us uncomfortably eat our meals, while two new ladies at our table, who looked like they just got off the plane, were discussing the menu and asking us what we had ordered.  Our waitress asked the ladies to leave our table, yet they insisted that we had said it was perfectly fine that they joined us. However, the looks we gave her, crossed eyes and shrugging shoulders, demonstrated to the waitress that that was definitely not the case.

I finally lost it, and started cracking up while my head was down, for whatever reason trying to remain polite and discreet.  Meanwhile, the ladies continued arguing with the server until they were finally asked very sharply to leave our table and actually wait their turn.  This was not a family style restaurant, the waitress explained. So with great resistance and anger, the ladies finally got up and stormed down the hallway to stare at us the entire time we sat at our 4-seater table and finished our meal.  #AlohaMahalo.