It’s National Batman Day today, or at least, that’s what I had hoped when I noticed all three of the high school librarians wearing Batman T-shirts. Or perhaps they didn’t coordinate who had dibs on that particular shirt choice this glorious aloha Friday.
Much like the lunch ladies from my days of yore, these librarians enjoy scowling at me.
No, I’m not making noise.
No, I’m not drinking liquids in the library. (Not that they can see, at least.)
I’m simply reading (or texting) quietly while I sub for a teacher who seems to have an inordinate number of open prep periods. Like I always say, c’est la vie.
The last time I was in this same predicament, I could overhear the three of them scoffing amongst themselves about what a waste of money it was to pay for a full day sub (THATS ME!!) (AND I'M RIGHT HERE!!!) (AND...I CAN HEAR YOU!!!) when there was so much open-period time in a teacher’s schedule.
“Oh!” The librarian with blue nylons and open-toed sandals scoffed. “What a waste of resources!”
“I know! They pay a sub for the WHOLE day,” responded the male librarian that pranced around while grasping the remote control to the library’s only smart board that he controlled. “And she’s just sitting there doing nothing!”
(Again, I CAN HEAR YOU!!!!)
All I’d like to do, besides punch each of them in the face, is tell them that I’m reading quietly about the development of ENSO-which I’d explain (using finger quotes) is an “acronym” for “El Niño and the Southern Oscillation” phenomenon-which I don’t think is a GAWD DAMN WASTE OF TIME!!
Then I’d tell them it’s not my fault the schedule is the way it is, and perhaps they should submit a formal complaint with the administration about this. With library letterhead, of course.
And finally, I’d end my response with, “And by the way, you’re all wearing the same fucking Batman shirt!” BABAMMMM!!
Initially, they’d all gasp and look amongst each other’s wardrobe choices since they strangely hadn’t noticed, and then start clucking like a bunch of hens who got their feathers ruffled by an unexpected mongoose stealing their eggs. Eventually, they’d laugh at wearing the same Batman shirt on the same day, omg!
But by that time, I’ve departed the library to walk around and find a new place to settle in before teaching a class. At some point. Hopefully. 😂
